I know it’s preseason.
I know it doesn’t count for points.
But let’s be honest — that felt like a statement.
Arsenal rolled into Washington, D.C., for the 2023 MLS All-Star Game and walked out with a 5-0 win, a gallery of outrageous goals, and a debut for Declan Rice that officially made it real.
This wasn’t just a preseason tune-up. This was the Gunners putting the world (and the U.S.) on notice.
⚽ Jesus Started the Sermon
Five minutes in. MLS looked lively. The crowd was hyped. And then...
Gabriel Jesus summoned one of those moments that makes you laugh mid-game. Not because it’s funny — but because you can’t believe he just did that.
Saka gets chopped down in the box. Chaos. Ball bounces loose. And Jesus, casual as ever, hits a first-time chip with his right foot that floats over Burki, kisses the post, and lands in the net like it was magnetized.
Audacity. Technique. Vibes. All in one touch.
🎯 Then Trossard Said, “Hold My Boots”
Eighteen minutes later, it was Leandro Trossard’s turn to paint a masterpiece.
Saka again involved (as always), slicing down the right and feeding it square. Trossard takes a touch, shifts right, and absolutely rips it top corner. Keeper had no chance. It was one of those goals where even the opposing fans clapped.
A reminder that when Trossard’s in rhythm, he’s basically a cheat code.
🤕 Quick Breath, Quick Prayer
Trossard did come off in the 56th with what looked like a knock, but he walked off under his own power. No panic — just hope it was precautionary.
💰 Declan Rice = Arsenal Player
Let’s pause for a second.
Declan Rice.
£105 million.
Wearing our badge. Stepping onto the pitch. First touch in red and white.
He came on in the 65th, and suddenly the midfield had a different presence. He didn’t do anything flashy, but he didn’t need to. His calm, his positioning, his confidence — you could feel it. We didn’t just buy a player. We bought presence.
It’s real now. Rice is here.
⚡ Second-Half Domination
It didn’t stop.
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Jorginho slotted a penalty just after the break, because of course he did.
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Martinelli got his goal late on — because chaos is his love language.
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And then Kai Havertz got on the scoresheet to cap it off, reminding everyone that yes, there’s a plan for him too.
All while outshooting the MLS All-Stars 16 to 7. This wasn’t a close call. It was a flex.
🧠 A Word on MLS (and Wayne Rooney)
Respect to Wayne Rooney and the All-Stars for stepping up. They had energy early on, but once Arsenal started clicking? There was no catching us. No Messi cameo (he trained Tuesday with Inter Miami), but let’s be real — even Messi might’ve needed a miracle to shift this one.
🇺🇸 Arsenal in America: It’s Bigger Than a Game
This isn’t just about preseason. This is Arsenal connecting to a global fanbase. Kids in D.C. saw their heroes. The chant echoes at Audi Field. Bukayo signs shirts. Arteta does interviews. And the club feels close.
The Summer Series is just getting started — but this performance?
That was main character energy.
Final Score:
Arsenal 5 – 0 MLS All-Stars
⚽ Jesus (5')
⚽ Trossard (23')
⚽ Jorginho (PK, 48')
⚽ Martinelli (85')
⚽ Havertz (89')
We may be stateside.
We may be weeks away from kickoff.
But I’ll say this now:
We’re ready.
The Arsenal is loaded.
And preseason or not — football is very much back.
— A Gooner who’s already planning for the Community Shield
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