Eden Hazard Is Out Here Twerking and I Have... Questions


 

So there I was — scrolling, snacking, minding my own business — and boom:
Eden Hazard is trending.

Naturally, I panic. Is he injured again? Transferred? Scored a screamer in training?

Nope.
He’s twerking.

Eden Hazard. Twerking.
Like, hands on knees, full-arched-back, mid-summer energy, not-a-care-in-the-world twerking.

And look — I’ve seen a lot of things in this sport.
Mario Balotelli setting off fireworks in his bathroom.
Phil Jones' facial expressions in HD.
Cristiano Ronaldo celebrating like he just invented breathing.

But nothing could’ve prepared me for Hazard: the hip-whipping edition.


🕺 The Internet is Undefeated

Now to be fair, this wasn’t at a match, a presser, or even a team function. It was caught on video somewhere off-pitch — music bumping, vibes high, Hazard very much in offseason mode.

And honestly? The man looked happy.

Dancing like a guy who just dodged the group chat for weeks.
Dancing like he hasn’t stretched in months but suddenly remembered he’s still that guy.
Dancing like a man whose thighs are as legendary as his low center of gravity.

Was the form good?
I mean… it had effort. Let’s say that.

Was it needed?
Absolutely not.

Did the internet need to post it a hundred times from every angle?
Yes. Yes it did.


⚽ Wait, Should I Be Concerned?

As a fan — especially a Chelsea fan still low-key emotionally attached — part of me went:
“Eden. My brother. Please stretch before that.”

The other part of me just burst out laughing. Because it’s 2020. The world’s upside down. And if Eden Hazard wants to shake what the Stamford Bridge gods gave him, who am I to stop joy?

And maybe that’s the lesson here.

Let the man live.
Let the twerk fly.
Let footballers be weird off-pitch sometimes. We’ve all stress-danced through this year.


📹 The Verdict:

Was it needed? No.
Was it iconic? Also no.
Was it the exact chaotic energy I didn’t know I needed in August 2020?
Absolutely.

Stay weird, Eden. Just maybe don’t pull a hamstring next time.

— Noah

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